Trusting Paul
by seejanewrite88
Summary: COMPLETE My entry for the "Heartbreak" contest on MCBC. Paul tells Suze that he can bring Jesse back to life in their time, but leaves out a very important detail. r&r! Rating upped for language.
1. Back to life?

**Hey guys. Here's my entry for the "heartbreak" story contest on MCBC. Hope you all enjoy—fyi, I do have a new story coming up, that should be out in the next week or two. This one is obviously a one-shot, and kind of sad. At least, I think it is.**

**Read and review. You know the drill.**

**-QTC**

I have to say, I should have known.

When had I decided to trust Paul when it comes to Jesse? I should have known… but it still doesn't make it hurt any less.

A month ago, when he came to me, telling me that he could bring Jesse back to life—and in this time period—I didn't even stop to think. Of course I said yes.

What he didn't tell me, is that Jesse would lose all memory.

Jesse and I went to Paul's house one Saturday night. Jesse and I were both a little nervous, but excited about the prospect of him being alive, too. Of course, we didn't tell Father Dominic about it- he would never have approved. God's will, and all that. Personally, I didn't care about God's will, and neither did Jesse. We just wanted to be able to be together-forever.

"Are you guys ready?" Paul asked, and Jesse nodded guardedly. In the dim lighting, Jesse's eyes looked darker and even more unreadable than ever. His hair was pitch black, and the flickering candles threw shadows on his long, muscular body. I sat there, watching the ritual. It was vaguely similar to an exorcism, but I knew enough about them that I was certain he wasn't exorcising Jesse. Paul chanted, and I saw Jesse's ghostly glow slowly fade. At the last word of the chant, all the candles snuffed out, and Jesse collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily. But he was breathing!

"Jesse!" I cried, and ran over to his body, lying on the floor and shaking slightly. "Oh, Jesse, are you okay?" He looked up, hesitantly, with confused eyes.

"Where…where am I? Who are you?" He asked warily. Paul helped him to his feet. What was the matter with him?

"Jesse, its me. Suze!" I started wrapping my arms around his neck, but he stepped away from me.

"What are you doing?" He asked. "What's going on?"

"Don't… don't you remember me?" I whispered. What was going on? "Come on, Jesse, it's me." Paul set Jesse down on a chair, and pulled me out of the room.

"Paul, what the hell is going on? Why can't he remember anything?" I shouted in a whisper.

"Suze, chill. This is normal. In a few hours, he should remember everything. Don't worry. Go home, and you can see him on Monday at school, and everything will be peachy keen, alright?" I sighed, then went back into the room to get my coat. Jesse was sitting there still, with a perplexed look on his face. His face softened slightly when he saw me.

"You look familiar… what's your name?" He asked softly. I felt my nose tingle and my throat begin to burn, but I held back my tears.

"Suze. You call me Susannah," I whispered back, then pulled on my coat.

"Susannah. That is a pretty name," He said. He paused. "Have we met?" I covered my mouth, choking back a sob. I inclined my head.

"Yes… we have met, Jesse," I choked out, then ran from the room. Sure, he was going to be okay eventually, but it's hard seeing the guy you're in love with not know who you are.

As soon as I got home, a pain gripped my stomach so tightly, and so suddenly, that I cried out in pain and sunk to the floor. It felt like little hamsters with knives were hacking, clawing, and biting their way out of my intestines. I clung to the closest thing I could grab onto—an end table in the hallway, and moaned. My vision got fuzzy, and then suddenly I knew no more.

A few days later, I woke up in a hospital bed. There was a dull ache on my lower stomach, and my mom was sitting next to me.

"Susie! You're awake!" She cried happily. I groaned, and tried to sit up, but failed.

"What happened?" I croaked.

"You got appendicitis. You've been out cold for nearly a week—the doctors said that they were very lucky they were able to operate on you before your appendix burst." She held my hand, and squeezed. "I'm so glad you're alright!"

A week later, I went to school, anxious to see Jesse. I was so angry that I hadn't been able to see him, since I got sick. I wasn't exactly pleased that he never came to visit, either, but I'll get over it. He was, after all, the love of my life. Maybe he didn't know I was in the hospital. Yes, that had to be it. He should have regained his memory by now. After Brad parked the car, I leapt out and hurried into the courtyard. My eyes began to roam the open area, searching for the perfect face of my love, Jesse. There! I grinned, and started hurrying over to him, where he lounged casually on a bench, next to—

Kelly Prescott. And Debbie Mancuso. And the rest of the pretty, popular people. My heart clenched. I stopped bounding over, and my stride was reduced to tiny, slow steps.

"Jesse," I said slowly, once I got to the bench. He looked up, with a lazy grin on his face, his delicious body wearing a red sweater and dark jeans, making him look just as good, if not better, than he did before. His face soon turned to one of vague perplexity, as if he were trying to remember something.

"Susan, right?" he asked. My blood froze. "Yea, I remember you. Paul's girlfriend. He told me all about you." Sister Ernestine came around, shouting at everyone to get to first period. "Hey, I'll see you later. C'mon, Kelly." He got up, and wrapped his arm around Kelly's waist and walked over to one of the classrooms. He held onto her hips, kissed her passionately, then slipped through the door, and Kelly and Debbie continued on to their history class.

A knife plunged into my heart. Jesse didn't remember anything. He thought I was Paul's girlfriend. He was going out with Kelly Prescott.

That's when I realized. Our love must have never been real. I was just the first girl he had seen in 150 years, and now that he had every other girl in the world in the palm of his hand, I wasn't good enough.

Ignoring the shouts of Sister Ernestine, that Father Dominic wanted to see me, I fled the school, my tears blurring my eyes. Suddenly, I found myself at the beach. It was nearly empty on this October morning, and the wind whipped through my hair. Finally alone, I sunk to the sand, curled up in a ball, and cried.

I suddenly remembered Madame Zara's prophecy. "You will have one love that will last all of eternity." I realized—she never said that love was reciprocated.

A month later, my love for Jesse is still as strong as ever, and my heart bleeds every time I see him making out with Kelly in the hallway. I haven't spoken to Paul since, though I did earn a detention for giving him a black eye and a nose bleed.

It's been a month, and I'm still beating myself up for trusting Paul. For letting him take Jesse into his hands.

For letting him ruin my life.


	2. The graveyard

Okay, I said it was a one-shot, but I HATE sad endings, and just about all my reviewers asked for more. (Thanks for reviewing, guys!) Plus, I'm bored and procrastinating, so now, another chapter.

Chapter 2

Jesse's POV

It's been about a month since I got amnesia. I can't remember anything before the day that I woke up in this kid Paul's house. He's trying to help me remember, but nothing has come to me yet. I am actually sort of hazy about what happened right when I woke up. All I remember was that Paul's girl friend (ex, now, I think. She didn't seem to happy with him at school next time I saw her) was there with him, and she seemed really upset.

While I try to remember, I've enrolled in Paul's school. The priest there seemed very sympathetic, and vaguely familiar. The feeling in my mind and heart that I need to remember something, that I'm missing a piece of me, is very strange, not to mention annoying. What's even stranger is how Paul's ex, Suze (or is it Susan? Or Suzie? Or Suzanne? Something doesn't seem right about any of those names) seems so upset around me. She hardly talks to me, and never looks me straight in the eye. Some people are shy like that, but she isn't around anyone else.

What's even more strange is that recently, I've been having dreams about her. Suze, I mean. Nothing really happens in them. We're just in her room, talking, usually. At least, I think it's her room. But what was more than having dreams about her, was the feeling I felt around her. I felt complete, happy, calm, and, most of all—some emotion I couldn't grasp or describe.

I had just had a particularly strange dream, where I had actually placed my hands on her face—two _glowing_ hands, for some reason—and _kissed_ her, and was obviously a little bit confused. I picked up my girlfriend, Kelly, but was lost in thought and only kissed her lightly then didn't pay attention to her blather on the way to school. She eventually noticed.

"Jesse, what's with you?" she said in a very annoyed fashion. "Are you even listening to me?" After 3 weeks or so of dating, her charm had begun to wear off. In fact, I am trying to remember why I even started dating her.

"Uh… sorry. Just thinking," I muttered, pulling into the mission parking lot.

"What about?"

"What? Oh. Nothing. Just a dream I had last night. It was just really weird." She frowned, but let it drop.

Once in the courtyard, I saw Suze sitting alone on a bench near the fountain, gazing into space with a sad expression on her face, apparently lost in thought. Kelly had to talk to Mr. Walden about something for Student Council, so I gave her a quick kiss before she pranced off. I was about to go see what was the matter with Suze, but suddenly she stood up and walked out of the courtyard, and down a small path.

Curious, I followed her. She seemed oblivious to me, and soon I found ourselves in the Mission Cemetery. Suze stopped at a grave stone, rested her fingers on it lovingly, then sighed. "I should never have trusted him," I barely heard her murmur, talking, it seemed, to the stone. "Then I wouldn't have lost you."

"Susannah?" I heard Father Dominic call. Susannah? Something about that name seemed strikingly familiar and comfortable. "Someone said they saw you come this way. What are you doing here? I need to speak with you." He emerged from another path. I still stood, hidden by the early morning shadows and trees. He saw where she was, and sighed. "Susannah. You must move on," he said, in a gently but forceful manner. She wiped her eyes with her jacket.

"I can't, Father D. You know I've tried," she whispered. He sighed again, then ushered her back to his office. What was going on?

After they were a safe distance away, I went to go see the grave stone she was so interested in. As soon as I was able to read the carving, I froze. "_Here Lies Hector "Jesse" De Silva, Beloved Son, Brother, and Friend."_ Jesse De Silva? That was _my_ name. But he died in 1850. I shook it off. Weird coincidence, I thought. But then I wondered. Suze could never have known him. He died more than 125 years before she was born. But why did she seem so heartbroken?

Okay. I did my part, in continuing it. Now you do yours, and review!!!!!


	3. The de Silva Family

_Hey all. Thanks for reading my story! I came home from school and kicked my brother off the computer and found all these wonderful reviews!_

_In response… _

_GroovyBananas: Suze has kind of given up because she's, well, sort of depressed. I mean, imagine your boyfriend suddenly forgetting about you, can't remember your name, and start going out with the Queen of the 3 P's-Pretty, Perfect, Popular. She just thinks that she has no chance if Jesse doesn't remember her, you know?_

_Becca: Paul might return. But he knows Suze isn't happy with him, and he's smart enough to keep a low profile for a while. She did beat him up as soon as she saw him after she realized Jesse forgot everything, you know._

_Okay. On with Chapter Three. Enjoy_.

Chapter 3

**Suze's POV**

"I should never have trusted him. Then I wouldn't have lost you," I whispered. "Susannah!" I heard Father D. call. I sighed. "Someone said they saw you come this way. What are you doing here? I need to speak with you." He came into the graveyard, saw me, and frowned disapprovingly. He knew what I was going through, but, in typical Father Dominic fashion, was completely unsympathetic in the matters of the heart. "Susannah. You must move on," he said, and if I wasn't so close to sobbing, I would have rolled my eyes.

"I tried, Father D. You know I did." He only sighed, took my arm, and led me through the path back to the school. As we were walking, I thought I saw someone out of the corner of my eye, but by then I was too far away to see clearly.

Once inside his office, Father Dominic sat down and ushered me to do so as well. "How is the progress with that woman, Theresa?" Theresa was a ghost who had come to me a few days ago, asking me to let her husband know that he could move on. Apparently, she had died about 3 years ago, but her husband is refusing to fall in love again. It was very sweet.

"I had her write a note, and I snuck into his house and left it on the kitchen table. She'll let me know if it didn't work," I responded sullenly, picking at my fingernails. Father Dom narrowed his eyes at me.

"Susannah. I know it hurts, but you need to move on. I did, and you can too," he said firmly. I gazed out the window, and a tear slid down my face. He may have been able to move on, but I _never_ would. Madame Zara said so. "You will have one love that will last for all of eternity." Ever since Jesse and come alive and forgotten about me, those words had echoed in my head over and over, louder and louder until I could barely stand it.

Father Dominic apparently noticed the tear, since he dropped the stack of papers he was looking through onto his desk, and got sort of annoyed. "Susannah, you have to stop pitying yourself. It doesn't help. Just because Jesse--" the door opened, and he broke off.

"Uh, Father Dominic? Can I talk to you?" It was him. Jesse. I quickly wiped the tear away and sniffed, but I think he saw me, and gave me a concerned look.

"I need to go to a quick meeting in a few minutes," Father Dom said distractedly. "Can you come back here in about half an hour?" Jesse nodded, and Father Dominic looked at me. "Come back later, Susannah. We aren't through talking." I stood up, slung my messenger bag over my shoulder, and left his office. What I had forgotten was Jesse and I had first period English together. He came over to me, and gave me a curious look.

"Are you okay? You've seem kind of down for the past few weeks. Not that I know you that well, but…" he trailed off. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Jesse used to be able to read my every thought, my every feeling, by my every facial expression. I was an open book to him. Now, here he was, clueless to what I thought and felt.

"I'm fine." I said shortly, and opened the door to the classroom.

**Jesse' POV**

I followed Suze into class, watching her carefully, and then we sat into our respective seats.

"Sorry, Mr. Warner. We had to talk to Father Dominic for a few moments," Suze said.

"Why am I not surprised?" He said, rolling his eyes. "Now that these two have rejoined our class, here is our new novel, 'East of Eden' by John Steinbeck, which, as you know, takes place in the 1800's here in the Salinas. Back then, in our area, the land was divided mostly into ranches."

"Wasn't most of it owned by the de Silva family?" one girl, Amy, asked. Suze, who had been chewing on her pen cap, suddenly choked. "Then their son, Hector, was supposed to marry his cousin"—a few kids made faces at that, or exclaimed "Ew!"—"then got cold feet and ran away, and after that the ranches kind of slowly split up, since there wasn't a main owner?" Mr. Warner nodded, happily, but Suze was still pale and coughing.

"Very good! Now-"

"He didn't get cold feet, he was murdered," I said suddenly, and everyone looked at me, including Suze, with wide eyes.

"How would _you_ know?" Amy asked, snottily.

"Because I am Hector, and I was murdered." The words sprang to my lips, but I caught them just in time. Where had they come from? What was I even talking about? For some reason, I caught the gaze of Suze, who looked dimly confused. Without thinking about it, I sent a pleading look in her direction, asking for help. She seemed to comprehend, then mouthed the words, "newspaper article." "Uh… I read a newspaper article about it?"

"Cee Cee wrote it," Suze supplied, taking the attention away from me. "It was in the Pinecone two summers ago." Vague looks of comprehension dawned on the class, and someone said, "Oh yea. I seem to remember reading that."

The conversation continued, discussing the de Silva family. Another de Silva. Perhaps the grave stone that Suze had been talking to earlier was related? But what did that _mean_?

What was going on?

okay. You all know the drill. Review, and you get more!


	4. A talk with Suze

Hey all. Here's chapter four, as a New Year's present. Hope you all got Twilight and enjoyed it! I know I did. Anyway, please, read and review the chapter, and I hope I can get another one up soon.

Chapter Four

Jesse's point of view

My girlfriend, Kelly, and I were in my car, at the point, watching the sun set. Her fingers were intertwined with mine, and both of us were breathing heavily from what we had just been doing. I knew that this was a pretty romantic situation, and my thoughts should have been on Kelly, but they weren't—they were on Suze. I felt like there was something about her that I needed to know, that there was more than what meets the eye. I just couldn't stop thinking about her.

"Hey, Kel… you know Suze?" I suddenly blurted out. Kelly looked at me funny.

"Suze Simon? That freak? Yeah…why?"

"Uh… no reason. She just always seems to… not be here," I said, inadequately describing her odd behavior.

"Yea, well, she's been like this for about a month. I don't know _why_. But she's always been weird. I think she's, like, crazy. I mean, at a party a few months ago, she kept talking to someone who wasn't there. It was totally strange. Same thing with Paul. They kept talking to someone named 'Jess' or something, and Paul kept beating himself up. Then all of a sudden she just keeled over. We all thought she died. Maybe she was on drugs." Suddenly, the sunset and Kelly's face faded out…

_I saw Paul, with my hands- glowing- around his neck. I was filled with a white hot anger and jealousy, and all I knew was that I needed to make him pay… make him pay for kissing Susannah. Then I saw her, out of the corner of my eye. She was talking to me, but I wasn't playing attention. My hands shoved Paul's head under water, I think it was a hot tub. Dozens of people were around us, staring at Paul and Suze with frightened expressions. Then I felt something hit my shoulder, and knock me off balance. I turned to look—how could anyone touch me?—and my heart froze in fear, when I saw my beloved Susannah, lying unconscious on the ground. I immediately dropped Paul, and rushed to her side. "Susannah! Susannah, wake up!"_…

The sunset and Kelly returned, as I pressed myself against my seat, breathing heavily. What _was_ that? Something was definitely going on. I recognized it as the scene that Kelly had just described, but who was I? Kelly said Paul had been beating himself up… but just then, I was clearly the one who was beating him up, not himself. "Jesse?" Kelly asked. "What's up?"

"Uh… nothing. Sorry… just zoned out there for a second, I guess." Was I going crazy? I needed to talk to someone about this… someone who might know what was happening to me. "Listen, Kelly, I just remembered, I have to get home. I have to, um, do my homework." She pouted, and wrapped her arms around my neck and pushed herself up against me.

"Ooo," she cooed, "how about you stay here for just a few more minutes?" She took my hand and put it on her leg, and then trailed one finger down my neck, across my chest, and down my stomach. "Okay?" My throat got tight, and I wanted out of the situation, quickly. We had done this before, but… I felt weird doing it now. I felt like I was betraying someone, though who, I don't know.

"Uh, sorry, but I really have to get home. I'll drop you off on the way." I pulled away from her and started the ignition. She glowered at me, and sat back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest, obviously mad. We drove in silence, my head spinning too much to make conversation. After I dropped her off, I drove to the only person's house that I think might have answers.

I pulled onto Pine Crest Drive at a little before seven thirty. Without even thinking, I went up and knocked on the door. A young red headed kid came to the door, and his eyes widened when he saw me. I saw through the house the corner of their dining room table, where a woman—Suze's mom, I suppose—and Brad, her step brother, sat. "Uh… sorry. Am I interrupting dinner?" I asked nervously.

"No, we just finished up. Can I help you?"

"Can I talk to Suze?" I asked, and he nodded. He opened the door some more, and let me in.

"She's in the kitchen," he said, and led me there. I saw her, rinsing plates and stacking them in the dishwasher. I sat there for about ten seconds, watching her, before I cleared my throat.

"Suze?" She jumped, and turned around quickly. Her eyes widened, and she almost looked frightened at the sight of me. Maybe this was a bad idea. "Sorry… maybe this is a bad time," I mumbled.

"No, no… it's okay." She wiped her hands on a dishtowel, and cleared her throat. "Let's go out to the deck." I followed her through the dining room and out to the deck, where she flipped a switch and light flooded over a hot tub—the hot tub from my vision—and a few deck chairs and a table. Suze sat down at the table, and I sat across from her. "I don't mean to be rude, but Jesse… what are you doing here?" I sighed, and ran my hands through my hair.

"I was wondering if you could tell me what happened at the one party here… when you passed out." She looked shocked and confused.

"How… how do you know about that?" she asked.

"Er… Kelly mentioned it," I admitted. "But listen. It's important. You know about my amnesia, right? Well, my doctor said that I might start getting flashbacks, and, well, I think I was involved with the party. Was I?" She avoided my gaze.

"Um… sort of…" she said vaguely.

"So did you know me, Suze? Back before I got amnesia?" I asked, excited. I didn't even think about the fact that I had been glowing and invisible in my visions. She didn't respond. "Suze?"

"Susannah," she whispered, staring out into the back yard. "You used to call me Susannah." She paused, and I watched her silently. "But that's in the past. You're with Kelly now." Her voice dropped to near silence, but I still heard her. "And not me." Suddenly, she stood up, acting like she hadn't just said anything. "Yes, we did know each other. But Paul ruined that," she said, almost matter-of-factly.

"Paul? What does he have to do with this?" I asked, confused. Going to Susannah answered some questions, but produced many more.

"Ask him," she said scathingly. "I'm sure he knows much more about it than me." She walked away from me, and back into the house. I followed her, and saw her going up the stairs. I hurried to catch up with her.

"Wait. Suze—Susannah," I tried. Susannah. That seemed so much more natural, more comfortable, more familiar. She froze, with her hand on the knob to a door—presumably her room. "I have one more question. Were we… were we together?" My voice dropped, and I watched her grip the doorknob until her knuckles turned white.

"Yes," she whispered. "We were." She opened the door, and through the crack bound a cat, an incredibly ugly cat, but endearing all the same. It leapt onto the post at the top of the banister, where my hand was, and nuzzled my arm, purring. "Spike!" she said sharply, and scooped him up, sustaining a scratch across her arm, and she swore softly.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She tossed the cat back into her room, and shut the door. She examined her scratch, which was bleeding slightly.

"Fine. Nothing out of the ordinary," she said. I examined it closely, then pulled out a handkerchief from my pocked, and dabbed at the cut gently, and it stopped bleeding.

"Better?" I asked softly, but when I looked up, her eyes were shining and full of tears.

"I'm fine. Just… please go. I have stuff to do." Surprised, I dropped her arm, and she went into her bedroom and slammed the door.

Alright, it's time for your reviews! I'll try to get another chapter up soon, but I'm not sure when. Anyway, Happy New Years! I wish you all good luck and happiness in '05.

-Jane (Qui Tacet Consentit)

ps—thanks to Clavel and soin2jesse for some help with this chapter.


	5. Remembrance

Hey all. I need something to do, other than the piles of homework that are due on Monday that I've procrastinated on all break, so look! Another chapter. Thanks for all your awesome reviews, they always make me smile 

Tory (Pens in Potatoes) had a pretty big contribution to the plotline of this chapter (though my version is slightly altered from her original idea), but lets give a big round of applause for Tory! Applauds

Anyway… here ya go. Enjoy and review.

Chapter Five

Jesse's POV

After Susannah slammed the door in my face, I turned around, flabbergasted. What was with her? I had just tried to help her. I figured she didn't want to be disturbed, so I walked slowly down the staircase, trying to process what I had learned in my conversation with Susannah. Back downstairs, her youngest stepbrother looked at me quizzically, then asked, "Wait… what's your name?"

"Jesse de Silva," I responded, and his eyes were suddenly filled with confusion. "Is something wrong?" I asked, but he shook his head… but not to what I was saying.

"This isn't possible… Jesse de Silva died in 1850…" he muttered.

"…Pardon?" I asked.

"Sorry," he said, remembering my presence. "It's just…there was a man, Jesse de Silva, who was murdered here 150 years ago. Well… do you believe in ghosts?" I considered, and nodded. Anything's possible. "Well, I think that he used to haunt the house—Suze's room, actually."

"Used to?" I asked.

"Yea. About a month ago, all the signs—the chills that I got whenever I went into the room, Max's complete aversion for the room, and the occasional unexplained noises around—just stopped. I should go ask Suze whatever happened to him," he trailed off again.

"Suze? How would she know?" I asked, with one eyebrow raised skeptically. "What, does she _talk_ to ghosts?" His eyebrows went up, and suddenly the sarcasm of my statement melted away, and I felt the blood run from my face. "I've got to go…" I whispered hoarsely, and hurried out of the house and back into my car. I pulled away from the Ackerman house quickly, my thoughts rushing and my head spinning. No, it couldn't be possible.

A few moments later, I was at Paul's house and knocking on his door. He opened it after what felt like centuries, but was really only about a minute. "Jesse," he said, surprised. "To what do I owe this pleasure? Come in, come in." I followed him into his cold, imposing foyer.

"Paul, I have a question," I said.

"Shoot."

"What happened before I got amnesia? How did I know Susannah?" His smile stiffened for a moment, but then he relaxed.

"Suze? Oh, you just lived with her." He paused. "Though _lived_ might not be the best verb choice." Suddenly, just as what happened in the car, my vision blurred, and instead I saw Susannah standing before me, in her room, I suppose, wearing a leather jacket and ripped jeans. She looked mad, but I was filled with a strange mixture of emotions-awe, surprise, shock, attraction, and amusement. _'You're dead_,' she said. '_You don't belong here.'_ Paul's face returned.

"Do you mean to say… that… I was… dead?" I said slowly.

"Yes."

Suddenly, I remembered. Everything. I remembered my life, back in the 1800's, my death, the 150 years of solitude, then the joy and happiness I felt at finding someone who I could talk to again… and the love for Susannah that I felt. I felt, with the pain and intensity of a punch to the stomach, what I had put her through the past month. And I remembered that Paul had lied to both her and me, telling us that I would regain my memory momentarily, and then telling me that he was her boyfriend.

"You son of a bitch!" I snarled, and started towards him, but he stopped me.

"You, Jesse, had your chance. Suze is mine. So you go screw that slut of yours, and leave Suze to the person who deserves her, and doesn't dump her for the class Barbie." he hissed at me. My blood boiled. I pulled back my arm, and slammed my fist into his nose. He swore loudly, and I took the opportunity to get out. I slammed the door behind me, and slid into my car, and peeled out of the driveway, to get back to the house of my love. I only prayed she could forgive me.

A/n: Okay. I hope you liked it… please review, good or bad. Hopefully good. I think there will be one more chapter… I'm not sure when it will come, though.


	6. A plea for forgiveness

Chapter Six

Suze's POV

Why does Jesse have to keep messing with me? I thought it was bad when he was all over Kelly, but now that I was so close to him again, felt his soft touch on my skin, it's so, so much more painful.

After he left, I just sunk down against my door and cried. I know how pathetic it is, getting all depressed on a guy. I know how they always say, "No man is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry." But that's just like that other cliché, the "If you love something, let it go," and they're both bull.

About 20 minutes later I had regained my composure, and was laying on my bed trying to read a book, when someone knocked on the door. "Come in," I called over my music, figuring it was my mom or someone. But no. There, in my doorway, for the second time that night, was Jesse. I quickly stood up and straightened my skirt, which had hiked up a bit lying down.

"Oh, Susannah," he breathed. He quickly crossed over to me. He looked at me with sad eyes and gently touched my cheek. I froze. What was going on? "_Querida_, I'm so sorry." _Querida_. Oh, how I missed that word. How I'd pined for it ever since Paul resurrected Jesse. He hadn't called me that since he was dead… what could this mean?

"Jesse?" I whispered. I knew I wouldn't be able to get my words out right, so I opted to just stay silent.

"Susannah… I'm so sorry. I remember everything now. Being a ghost, and being with you. I know I was horrible, leaving you for Kelly… and I'm so sorry. I don't know if you can forgive me, but please do. I love you," he said, and my stomach flip-flopped. I just stood there, and stared into the dark abyss that was his eyes, but I saw one thing in that usually unreadable blackness… and I think it was love. Time seemed to stand still as I gazed into his eyes. Should I forgive him? He completely screwed my over, I told myself. But he wasn't right in the head, I argued back. He had forgotten everything. But he dumped me for Kelly; if this was true love, why would he do that? But I love him… and he says that he loves me. Oh God. What was I to do?

"What about Kelly?" I asked quietly. "Why her? What about now?" He sighed, and removed his hand from my face and ran it through his hair.

"When I first… forgot everything, I was a completely different person. To be honest, I don't remember why I started going out with her. And as of now, I guess we're still going out, but that's only because as soon as I remembered I came straight here. But I'm going to break up with her as soon as possible, whether… whether or not you forgive me." I nodded slightly, and he gazed at me forlornly. "Susannah… just say the word now, and I will try again to make you the happiest woman in the world… or, if you choose not to forgive me, I will leave you alone. But I want to know which." He stared at me with wide, vulnerable eyes. I didn't know what to do. After a long moment of silence, he pulled his face away from mine, and I suddenly realized how close he had been to me, and I missed the warmth radiating from him. "Okay, Susannah. I'll leave you alone now. But remember, I'll always be here, in case you want me, and hoping that you'll want me back." He blinked his shiny eyes, and went to turn around. He was already out the door when I finally willed my body to unfreeze itself.

"Jesse!" I called. I ran down the stairs toward him, and flew out the door. "Jesse!" He turned around as he was opening the car door, and I saw him quickly brush away the tears that had trickled out of his beautiful brown eyes. Releasing all inhibitions, I leapt at him, wrapping my arms around his head and pulling his face down towards mine. Our lips met, and I suddenly felt a rush of nostalgia… I remembered how often we had kissed like this—deeply, lovingly, passionately, sensuously—before everything that had happened over the past month. I knew, just then, that everything was going to be alright. That this is where Jesse and I belonged, in each other's arms.

And it was perfection.

Authors note: Yay! I'm done. I hope you all enjoyed it, and I would like now to request reviews—LONG ones, preferably wink. I'd like some constructive criticism with this, and I'd like to know how I could improve. So please, even if you didn't review any other time, please review now and tell me all of your thoughts, observations, qualms, or critiques of my story. Thanks a lot also to all of you reviewers, you make me keep writing 


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